Eat, Sleep, Burpees, Repeat: Conquering The Beast

IMMA BEAST.

Alright, let me explain... As many of you are aware, our team recently ran the Spartan Beast race in Temcula aka "Hellmecula", CA.  The course was 13 miles, and didn't lack any hills... or should I say mountains!  It was packed with 30+ obstacles anywhere from mud pits, monkey bars, rope climbs, barb wire crawl, and of course, the spear throw.  And if you couldn't successfully complete an obstacle, you were required to do 30 burpees!

If you would have told me six months ago that I would be completing this race by the end of the year, I would have looked at you like you were crazy.  Despite a long history running several miles a week, I really lost my motivation to run long distance in sunny, HOT, HOT St. George.  The transition from speed to endurance training was pretty difficult, but it has paid off.  

During the race, you meet strangers from all over.  The first question was always "is this your first race?" Well, yes.  And the follow-up response was always "Why did you choose the Beast in TEMECULA?"  haha guess I didn't quite know what I was getting into... 

Looking back, that race was the of of the hardest things I have ever done.  It took every physical, mental, and emotional strength I had to get through it.  In fact, at the 7-mile mark, I was completely drained.  I couldn't even get my legs to move if I tried.  Then my angel, my boo, Robin, swooped me up with a nut bar that sustained me for the final treacherous 6 miles!  Shout out to Ann, Rob, Steph, and Jon who finished that race with me!  I couldn't have finished without you guys!

It was extremely difficult six hours, but there was nothing sweeter than crossing that finish line with my team.  Whatever you think you CAN'T do, think again... It’s better to look back on life and say: “I can’t believe I did that.” than to look back and say: “I wish I did that.”

Since it was my first race, I learned a lot about the do's and don'ts for our next race (and yes, there is a next time ha).  You live and you learn and here are some takeaways from the past summer:

1 // Mind Over Matter

The training involved with this race was pretty intense, but the physical obstacles were not the toughest aspects to overcome.  As much of the training and race physical, the mental aspect plays a significant role in race prep.  You can only go as far as your mind can take you.  

A lot of this preparation took me back to high school track when Coach Lewis would make us write down our goals and visualize our races.  I didn't appreciate that as much back then, but I certainly do now that I more fully understand the power of visualization and positive affirmations.  There is something extremely powerful about our minds; it's up to us to unlock its potential. 

2 // CREW is ERRTHANG

Team Maximus 300- what can I say?  I have met some pretty amazing women in my life and these girls are way up there.  

You would think with a group of women this large, together 4-6 days out the week for months on end, that there would be some sort of drama right?  Wrong.  I am so very grateful to be surrounded by such a supportive, encouraging, inspirational group of women.  There is no judgement.  There is no tension.  We all have our struggles, but there isn't anything we go through that another can't help.  

This group comes from diverse set of backgrounds, all have different family-life situations, etc, but we all have one common goal: to come together to help each other strive to be better every single day.  

Ladies:  I have nothing but the utmost respect for each of you.  Thank you for being such a great example of how women should carry themselves and accept one another.  As Ronda Rousey would say, we are no DNB's!  

There are only a few of us in the group that do not have kids.  So, to you ladies with kids: who are working full-time, raising a family, AND making time for yourself- THANK YOU... For proving to me that women truly can do it all.  Although I still am not quite on the baby train yet, my perspective of motherhood has changed this past summer.  I used to fear it- not because of the whole "not wanting to give up my body" argument, but more that I am afraid to lose my freedom and I'm afraid that I will have to sacrifice certain.  I want time for a career, I want time for my husband, and I want time for bettering myself.  That fear is no longer there because I see you amazingly strong women do it every day.  I love Amie's saying that all these kiddos have "20 moms" because it is true.  It is so fun to see these sweet babes every day and watch the interaction with their moms. 

Thank you AMIE for leading this pack and helping us to believe our bodies are made for more when we sometimes cannot see it ourselves.  Your leadership inspires me.  And I must say, I have done more burpees in the last four months than I have in my entire life haha!

For this training regimen and this style of race, you have to have a supportive team.  I choose to surround myself with women who empower me; who make me get my ass moving when I don't want to; who hold me accountable; who make me do hard things.  

LOVE MY CREW.

3 // If You Can't Change Your Circumstances, Change Your Perspective

Without even realizing it, this team has saved me in more ways than one.  The beginning of this year was pretty rough for me.  I had just come out of an 18-month graduate program that took up a lot of my time.  When you're as busy as my cohort was for that length of time, it is a pretty big change to suddenly have so much free time- I know, horrible right?  Well, kind of for me.  

I remember constantly feeling as though I was no longer progressing, no longer striving for something.  I reached my goal of finishing undergrad, graduate school, maxed out at my job, etc.  This was a big struggle for me.  I was constantly seeking knowledge: listening to podcasts, reading books, searching for community involvement, but it never was quite enough.  It wasn't until the spring time that I really started to focus on how could I change things to make me more content in St. George (hours from family).  

Anyone know about the law of attraction?  Well, it's real.  I was constantly seeking out opportunities to distract myself from homesickness, stress, and other personal issues; in that search, I found these girls and I couldn't be more grateful.  

Training for the Spartan race gave a a purpose for my workouts and kept me motivated daily.  Not to mention, I am doing it in good company.  

If you are unhappy about your current situation, change it.  You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you certainly can change your perspective.  I am loving and taking advantage of our time here in St. George now more than ever.  YOU choose your happy.

4 // Train For Performance And Aesthetics Will Follow

Why do I exercise?  I won't lie, I want to look good- who doesn't?  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and the physical aspect has a lot to with that confidence.  I never really struggle with being overweight, but always struggled with "tall and scrawny" haha.  Side note:  my physical therapist says I do "suffer" from "long femur"- yep, that IS a thing! ;)  

Anyway, for the past few years, I was more focused on the aesthetics coming out of my workouts.  I've realized that if you are only going for looks, you won't succeed.  Over the past few months, I have learned to train for performance and then the aesthetics will follow.  Of course it I try to watch my progress aesthetically, but as long as I feel good and the accomplishing the routines, I am satisfied.  

After several years of being ill with chronic staph, I couldn't be more grateful to be at a point where I am now.  To be able to go months without having to take breaks because of a weakened immune system has felt incredible.  A year ago I made a commitment to a healthier lifestyle.  Since that time, I am stronger and healthier now than ever before.

I don't know what my weight is and I've never measured myself, but I can bust out a 13-mile OCR without dying haha.  To me, that is a success and whatever follows is an added bonus.

5 // Find Balance

I have always placed high priority on self-improvement and personal development.  Perhaps one of my favorite things about training with Amie is her focus on three things: mind, body, and soul.  As much as we work to feed our bodies, feeding our minds and souls are just as, if not more, important.  

I have seen it too much where people, particularly women, lose themselves in fitness.  Whether it be constant bra/undie body pics on social media all the way to leaving their significant other, women tend to lose sight of their true beauty.  

Find a balance in your priorities.  If you can't make it to a workout, just kill it even more at the next session- there will always be a next time.

We can have the perfect bodies, but without having good hearts and the willingness to serve others, we are nothing.  We all progress in our own way, just don't forget who you are.  

So... What's Next?

If Temecula wasn't crazy enough, our team to competing in the Sacramento Super and Sprint weekend in November.  A few of of will be racing to complete our TRIFECTA (finish all three race levels in one year)!  Here's to ending 2015 with a bang!  

AROO!

I can't end this post without giving a shoutout to my hubby!  He has been an incredible support through this process.  Anywhere from late nights with the girls to financial expenses to spectating in the 100 degree sun for an entire day- this guy has done it all.  Riley's had to put up with a lot of my crazy adventures and I couldn't be more grateful to have such a great partner in this life.

I am pleased to announce that he will be running the Spartan Sprint with us in November!  So excited to share this experience with him.  Thanks for all you do baby boo!  

Thanks to the rest of my family and friends who have supported me (and the rest of the team) over this past summer- You all are amazing!!

xoxo

I Don't Understand God Sometimes

I don't understand God.  Sometimes.

(Watch this... like NOW.)

Powerful.  This video sparked so many intense emotions for me a couple weeks ago.  I immediately started this post, but never finished it.  I am finally finishing it in hopes for some therapeutic relief today.  Sometimes things happen where I just have to put thoughts onto paper in hopes of gaining some sort of comprehension.  It may be a bit choppy, but here we go.

Back in 2007, there was a mall shooting only a few miles away from my house in Omaha.  I remember being so angry about the lives that were taken that November.  One man, a father, who was traveling through Omaha on his way back home.  He happened to take the detour to stop at Westwards in hopes of finding gifts for his child(ren).  He happened to be there the same night a young man entered Von Maur and opened fire killing nine people including himself and injured four.

Perhaps it was just too close to home that I really, truly started questioning the existence of God.  It is so easy to question His presence and plan when such tragic events happen in our lives and throughout the world.

Where was God on September 11th, 2001 when 2,977 innocent men, women, children, and rescue workers were tragically ripped from their families in the most horrible way?  

Where is God when some of the best people we know taken away from a brutal illness or a tragic car accident?

Where is God when we a close family friend is on her way home from work and she is brutally murdered at a traffic stop?  

Where is God when a women or child is sexually abused leading to death or lifelong psychological effects?  

Where is God when a mother is given false hope for a child that she later miscarries?

Where is God when a group of terrorists walk into a school and slaughter a classroom of children?

Time and time again, I have searched for these answers.  When the shooting happened in Omaha, I asked where He was and why He allows these things to happen.

A friend shared a scripture with me that I will never forget.  It is from Alma 14.  The believers, including women and children, were burned alive because of their faith.  Yet, it was known that they were immediately sent to the highest glory of heaven and they would stand as a judge against their murderers at the last day.

8 And they brought their wives and children together, and whosoever believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God they caused that they should be cast into the fire; and they also brought forth their records which contained the holy scriptures, and cast them into the fire also, that they might be burned and destroyed by fire.

 9 And it came to pass that they took Alma and Amulek, and carried them forth to the place of martyrdom, that they might witness the destruction of those who were consumed by fire.

 10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames. 

11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

The response?

God is there.  He is there crying with us.  

In moments of our darkest despair and heartache, [I now believe] He is there.  

Conversely, I have been blessed with the best husband, family, and friends anyone could ask for.  This imperfect me has witnessed so many miracles in my life.  Despite my trials, I have had so many moments of pure happiness.  Whether it be as minute as living to see another sunrise, or accomplishing something I worked so hard for, or seeing the face of a newborn baby for the first time, He has been there.  

It is so easy to praise God in the good times, but even easier to question Him in times of trial.

Many of us have been taught to pray for what we desire. Whether it be a new job, passing a test, or making it home safely.  Well guess what?  Not everyone gets their dream job, passes that test, or has a plane that lands safely to their destination.  

Recent events very personal to me have taught me one thing about prayer.  No matter how hard you pray, or how much faith you have that something will go in your favor, you still may not get what you were asking for.  

So, I am changing the way I do prayers.  Instead of praying for those things that I wish to have happen, I will pray for God to provide me with comfort and understanding for however the situation turns out.  In the end, God's Will will always prevail (though sometimes that is interrupted by people's agency).  There is always a reason and always a lesson.  Whether it is in a week or 10 years down the road or at Heaven's gate, He will make it known to us.  

It is important to remember that something that makes life so beautiful are these times of happiness and trial we experience.  Without pain and suffering, we would not know happiness.  I love this scripture from 2 Nephi 2:

23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.

24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

But just as good times do not last forever, trials will too pass.  

I remember when a friend was going through a breakup, her pain was unbearable.  Someone said, "just how you can't be happy forever, you can't be sad forever either."  

I just love that.  Trials come and go, but God remains constant.  

I am so grateful for my family.  I am grateful for all that is good in my life, even some of the bad.  We are all going through this life together and I know that between them and my Savior, I am never alone.  

Whether we are believers or not, He is watching out for every one of us.  Whether you are religious or not, He hears your prayers, He hears your cries, and He is responding.  Just listen.

I leave you with this:

Big, but small.

Just, but merciful.

Powerful, but tender.

Omnipresent, but personal.

Quiet, but loud.

Servant, but King.

Night and day.

God. Loves. Us.

xoxo

Building from Experience

I find it interesting that no matter what age you are, you always think you have it all figured out.  As young as 16, I still remember feeling as though I was right about my entire perspective on the world.  I have come to realize that even at the age of 25, I still don't.  The world isn't always as it seems, so don't always trust what you think is reality.  I was in for a rude awakening this last winter when some turmoil came about professionally.  Although it is not necessary to divulge the details, I have learned some valuable lessons not only about myself, but about some of the sour aspects of business.

For the longest time, I have wanted to lead a successful career.  Ideas of which path to take have been shaped and molded into so many different directions.  Certain mentors and situations were placed along the way to ultimately lead me to want to pursue a career in energy.  In college, you learn the basics about accounting, marketing, operations, etc, but nothing prepares you for personal interactions in the real world until you are in it.  

As the situation progressed, the truth started to be uncovered and more emotions started to surface.  Not only did the stress put a strain on my schoolwork, but also on personal relationships.  At one moment, I lost confidence in myself as a businesswoman.  How could I not have recognized so much of what was actually happening?  I lost the trust of not only my associates, but of myself.  It was ironic because I was going through a very enlightening leadership course while all this was happening.  It really could not have been better timing because I was able to really learn who I was and how I needed to respond.

Throughout many of the conversations I had with close family and friends, there is still one point that sticks out:

You live and you learn.  It is unfortunate to have been exposed to this side of business at such a young age, but use it to your advantage.  This is all apart of your experience; you are building your resume.  Take what you have learned and grow from it.  

With that, I am have learned to be grateful for this challenge.

• I tend to trust people too much that it is to a fault.  When that trust is broken, the world nearly stops for me.  Be careful with your associations.  Looking back, there were red flags, but because of a strong sense of loyalty and a skewed perspective, I was blinded.  Keep an open mind and have a heightened awareness of what is going on around you.  I ignored the opinions of former colleagues and continued to believe everything was golden.  
• Money can be one of the greatest blessings, but it can be the root of corruption and deception.  Greed is a nasty addiction that can bring bring out the worst in some of the best people.  We have seen it in some of the greatest downfalls in US history including the financial collapse of 2008.  It is amazing to listen to some of the bios of those executives and the humble beginnings they come from and where they ended up.
• In the midst of all the craziness, I knew I could go home and sleep soundly on my pillow each night.  The most important thing I have done when it comes to work is to commit myself acting with the utmost integrity.  In the last month, I have seen some amazing transformations.  There is less negativity, more optimism, and we have been able to build a team built on foundations that one can be proud of.  If there are things you don't agree with, failing to act on what you see is wrong is the same as being the cause of the problem.  
• I have learned that accountability is a rare trait and one that I most admire in leaders.  Someone who can take recognize their faults and mistakes and be willing to face the consequences is an amazing demonstration of a strong character.
• Get to know who you are and what you stand for.  If your actions are not aligning with your values and standards, do something about it.

God is within her, she will not fall.

Thank you to my amazing support system who helped me cope with this little speed bump in this road I am on.  I am anxious to keep moving forward.