Beach

Beach
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I Don't Understand God Sometimes

I don't understand God.  Sometimes.

(Watch this... like NOW.)

Powerful.  This video sparked so many intense emotions for me a couple weeks ago.  I immediately started this post, but never finished it.  I am finally finishing it in hopes for some therapeutic relief today.  Sometimes things happen where I just have to put thoughts onto paper in hopes of gaining some sort of comprehension.  It may be a bit choppy, but here we go.

Back in 2007, there was a mall shooting only a few miles away from my house in Omaha.  I remember being so angry about the lives that were taken that November.  One man, a father, who was traveling through Omaha on his way back home.  He happened to take the detour to stop at Westwards in hopes of finding gifts for his child(ren).  He happened to be there the same night a young man entered Von Maur and opened fire killing nine people including himself and injured four.

Perhaps it was just too close to home that I really, truly started questioning the existence of God.  It is so easy to question His presence and plan when such tragic events happen in our lives and throughout the world.

Where was God on September 11th, 2001 when 2,977 innocent men, women, children, and rescue workers were tragically ripped from their families in the most horrible way?  

Where is God when some of the best people we know taken away from a brutal illness or a tragic car accident?

Where is God when we a close family friend is on her way home from work and she is brutally murdered at a traffic stop?  

Where is God when a women or child is sexually abused leading to death or lifelong psychological effects?  

Where is God when a mother is given false hope for a child that she later miscarries?

Where is God when a group of terrorists walk into a school and slaughter a classroom of children?

Time and time again, I have searched for these answers.  When the shooting happened in Omaha, I asked where He was and why He allows these things to happen.

A friend shared a scripture with me that I will never forget.  It is from Alma 14.  The believers, including women and children, were burned alive because of their faith.  Yet, it was known that they were immediately sent to the highest glory of heaven and they would stand as a judge against their murderers at the last day.

And they brought their wives and children together, and whosoever believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God they caused that they should be cast into the fire; and they also brought forth their records which contained the holy scriptures, and cast them into the fire also, that they might be burned and destroyed by fire.
 And it came to pass that they took Alma and Amulek, and carried them forth to the place of martyrdom, that they might witness the destruction of those who were consumed by fire.
 10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames. 
11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

The response?

God is there.  He is there crying with us.  

In moments of our darkest despair and heartache, [I now believe] He is there.  

Conversely, I have been blessed with the best husband, family, and friends anyone could ask for.  This imperfect me has witnessed so many miracles in my life.  Despite my trials, I have had so many moments of pure happiness.  Whether it be as minute as living to see another sunrise, or accomplishing something I worked so hard for, or seeing the face of a newborn baby for the first time, He has been there.  

It is so easy to praise God in the good times, but even easier to question Him in times of trial.

Many of us have been taught to pray for what we desire. Whether it be a new job, passing a test, or making it home safely.  Well guess what?  Not everyone gets their dream job, passes that test, or has a plane that lands safely to their destination.  

Recent events very personal to me have taught me one thing about prayer.  No matter how hard you pray, or how much faith you have that something will go in your favor, you still may not get what you were asking for.  

So, I am changing the way I do prayers.  Instead of praying for those things that I wish to have happen, I will pray for God to provide me with comfort and understanding for however the situation turns out.  In the end, God's Will will always prevail (though sometimes that is interrupted by people's agency).  There is always a reason and always a lesson.  Whether it is in a week or 10 years down the road or at Heaven's gate, He will make it known to us.  

It is important to remember that something that makes life so beautiful are these times of happiness and trial we experience.  Without pain and suffering, we would not know happiness.  I love this scripture from 2 Nephi 2:

23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.
24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.
25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

But just as good times do not last forever, trials will too pass.  

I remember when a friend was going through a breakup, her pain was unbearable.  Someone said, "just how you can't be happy forever, you can't be sad forever either."  

I just love that.  Trials come and go, but God remains constant.  

I am so grateful for my family.  I am grateful for all that is good in my life, even some of the bad.  We are all going through this life together and I know that between them and my Savior, I am never alone.  

Whether we are believers or not, He is watching out for every one of us.  Whether you are religious or not, He hears your prayers, He hears your cries, and He is responding.  Just listen.

I leave you with this:


Big, but small.
Just, but merciful.
Powerful, but tender.
Omnipresent, but personal.
Quiet, but loud.
Servant, but King.
Night and day.
God. Loves. Us.


xoxo

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Why I Lost Faith in Modern Medicine

For some time now, I have been wanting to share this story with my friends, family, and any others who may be reading.  Posting this account has taken me several attempts because of its length and the feelings that I revisit while writing it.  This issue I am about to discuss has very likely been the most trying of my 25 years.  I want to share this because this is something that not only caused me great physical pain, but has caused significant mental pain as well.  

There are many great doctors out there,  some even in my family, and they are absolutely necessary in particular situations; however, this particular situation has caused me to lose a lot of faith in modern medicine and many traditional treatments.  After the following experience (and a few other personal stories), I firmly believe in holistic medicines and natural remedies.  


2010


In 2009, I arrived to Utah State to finish my Bachelors degree.  About halfway through my first semester, I started getting little bumps on my chin.  The bumps were itchy and very bothersome.  All growing up I never had issues with my face and I was very healthy.  My complexion was always clear with a random pimple here and there so this was new to me.

I went to a dermatologist who prescribed me an antibiotic to treat dermatitis.  As I went through the cream and antibiotic, the bumps flared up and started breaking open with clear puss coming out and would dry into a honeysuckle sort of crust.  I went back to the doctor immediately and as soon as he saw the honeysuckle color, he instantly knew it was impetigo, more commonly known as staph infection.  My doctor prescribed me with a Z-pack and an ointment and sent me on my way.

Staphylococcus aureus aka staph infection: 

  • A staph infection is caused by a Staphylococcus (or "staph") bacteria. Actually, about 25% of people normally carry staph in the nose, mouth, genitals, or anal area. The foot is also very prone to picking up bacteria from the floor. The infection often begins with a little cut, which gets infected with bacteria.
  • These staph infections range from a simple boil to antibiotic-resistant infections to flesh-eating infections. The difference between all these is the strength of the infection, how deep it goes, how fast it spreads, and how treatable it is with antibiotics. The antibiotic-resistant infections are more common in North America, because of our overuse of antibiotics.
  • One type of staph infection that involves skin is called cellulitis and affects the skin's deeper layers. It is treatable with antibiotics.
  • This type of infection is very common in the general population -- and more common and more severe in people with weak immune systems. People who have diabetes or weakened immunity are particularly prone to developing cellulitis.

Symptoms:

  • Staph cellulitis usually begins as a small area of tenderness, swelling, and redness. Sometimes it begins with an open sore. Other times, there is no break in the skin at all -- and it's anyone's guess where the bacteria came from.
  • The signs of cellulitis are those of any inflammation -- redness, warmth, swelling, and pain. Any skin sore or ulcer that has these signs may be developing cellulitis. If the staph infection spreads, the person may develop a fever, sometimes with chills and sweats, as well as swelling in the area.
My sore was healing by this point.

A few months later, I was attending classes preparing for my study abroad to Asia.  We completed 12 credits in just 3 short weeks.  Between that, planning a wedding, and my toy poodle being killed by another dog, the stress level was extremely high to say the least.  It was during this time that I experienced another breakout.  I made an appointment to see my doctor and he prescribed me with another Z-Pack and one for the road in Asia just in case.  I was lucky to have had it because sure enough, I started showing symptoms less that three weeks later while in China.

Once I returned home, Riley and I got married in August 2010 and we moved back to Logan.  Not long after, another outbreak occurred in September 2010.  The doctor in Logan sent me home with a medicine that is similar to a Z-Pack, but stronger.  I was very pleased that my face cleared up.

2011


In June of 2011, another outbreak started.  This time was different- the infection moved from my chin to my cheeks.  Symptoms: itching, red bumps, fluid filled bumps, and yellow crusts- congruent with previous outbreaks.  This time, I decided to get a second opinion.  I went to a clinic in Pocatello, Idaho that is supposed to be one of the best.  The doctor performed a culture confirming that it was, indeed, staph infection and treated me with another set of antibiotics.  As expected, my infection ran its two-week course and my was clear for another 8 months.  When another outbreak occurred in Spring of 2012, I was able to call the Idaho clinic and get another round of antibiotics.

2012


TOTAL 2012 YTD out-of-pocket medical expenses: $2, 024.60.

In July of 2012, I switched to a recommended dermatologist in St. George.  The visit was very similar to the others.  This time, I was recommended to do things like spray my face with bleach when I washed it.  There is nothing that will make you feel more dirty than when a doctor subscribes bleach to the face to kill bacteria!  I will giver her credit, she did have some other good tips for me.

The fall of 2012 is when everything went downhill... I got to the point where I was breaking out every few weeks.  Not only were the outbreaks more frequent, but the infection spread to more areas of my face every time.  My final bad outbreak was on my chin, around my mouth, on my cheeks, up to my eyelids.  


By this point, the infection reached my eye.  You can see the swelling it caused.  Due to the risk of the infection reaching the soft tissue of my eye, this heightened the concern.
Trip to the ER for blood tests.

Waiting in the ER.  This pretty much sums up Riley's feelings about this whole thing!!
I was recommend to an infectious disease doctor in the area.  When I called to set up an appointment, I somehow got the doctor's cell phone number!  He had recently retired, but was gracious enough to converse with me.  I explained the situation and during the conversation, he explained that because of how invasive the infection had been in my body, he said:

"You will never be cured of staph infection.  It will be something you will likely have to deal with for the rest of your life."

For those of you who have never experienced a staph infection, it is, by far, one of the most painful infection.  It starts out itchy and turns to a painful area once the bumps secrete the infection.  By the time the bumps burst, I was literally walking around with an open wound on my face.  The face is a very sensitive area which I believe intensified the pain.  Had it been anywhere else on my body, it still would have been painful, but I don't think it would have been as bad.  Not to mention, as a girl, I am conscious of my appearance.  I have always considered myself a secure person, but there hasn't been a time when I felt more insecure than when I had my outbreaks.  It was hard to go out in public- to work and especially in social settings.  Even though people may not have noticed my infection as it was healing, I certainly knew it was there.

The first day of the infection, I would often have to stay home from work because my whole body would feel it.  I would get tired, nauseated, and lose my appetite.  I would try to sleep as much as possible, while making sure I got antibiotics in me immediately.  The first few days are the worst.  I, along with my poor husband, spent many sleepless nights awake and trying to deal with my face.  It often consisted of me crying because of pain and fatigue, and Riley sitting at the bedside with the hairdryer on trying to sooth my face.  It brings tears to my eyes thinking of those moments.  Those were what I consider the lowest in my life.  I constantly questioned God and even my life here on earth.  This will sounds dramatic to most, but in my moments of craze, the only way out that I could see was to literally "blow my face off" (I think I even verbalized this at one point).  I am not suicidal, but I do believe there are trials that are so horrific and painful that can bring us to that level of desperation.

To all those reading, never settle.  Never settle to have a spouse that won't always be with you through sickness and health, through good times and bad, and through joy and sorrow.  I am eternally grateful for my Riley.  As odd as it sounds, I truly believe this experience brought us closer together as we worked through it.  I know he felt the pain when I did.  As soon as I mention "I have bumps", his stomach "turns into knots" as he says.  For a while, it was difficult for him to even sleep in our bedroom because I think mentally, those experiences where we were up late at night had a significant impact on him.  He started associating the bedroom with those terrible feelings he would get when I was sick.

I wouldn't wish it upon my worst of enemies.  

So there has to be some good news out of all this right?!  Well, two years ago I wouldn't have thought so, but luckily there is!

After a series of serious outbreaks in fall of 2012, my whole family was searching for alternatives.  My sister's mother-in-law had a medicine sent from the Republic of Georgia, I was strapping garlic cloves to my face (no joke, but it makes more a good laugh now!), I was doing acupressure, etc.  It was one bright and shining day that my mother-in-law called about a natural supplement called Monolaurin from a company called Inspired Nutrition.  Desperate to try absolutely anything, we took a leap faith by dropping over $200 for what was needed to get started.  Let me just say right now, it was the best $200 we ever spent.

Monolaurin:

Dr. Kabara, of MSU, with specialties in pharmacology and biochemistry, discovered the anti-microbial effects of monolaurin (in its highest concentration in nature in mother's milk).

This is really important because the body converts a small part of coconut oil's lauric acid into a monoglyceride called monolaurin.  In fact, the body converts other monoglycerides into monocaprin, monocaprylin and monomyristin (sound familiar)?

Even more important, these monoglycerides are very powerful germ-fighters.  Monolaurin was tested on bacteria and it killed 100% of every bacterium it was tested on – including MRSA staph!  It was even effective against many other viruses including: 

     All pathogen (bad) bacteria, (but not good bacteria - they have different membranes).

     14 Virus including:
     Herpes Simplex virus (HSV 1 & 2),
     Measles virus, 
     Hiv,
     Hepatitis C,
     Swine flu, and flu in general,
     Shingles, and 
     Cyhtomegalo virus (CMV).


Later clinical studies found that, though monolaurin was best for most pathogens, there were a few pathogens that monocaprin and the others were more effective against.  Now, combined together as a family, Ultimate Monolaurin is the fullest blend of coconut monoglycerides available! 

How Does it Work?

The way monolaurin and family kills bacteria and some viruses is really interesting.  All bacteria, and those 14 virus, have a very flimsy membrane (envelope, skin).  This is by design so the bacterium and virus can easily penetrate its targets.  These membranes also have lipid fat molecules in them to make them flimsy. 


As it so happens, monolaurin is the same size molecule as these lipid fat molecules, so they absorb into the bacteria.  When inside, monolaurin interupts the reproductive cycle.  Then, when enough monolaruin absorbs into the membrane (which is already loosely held together) it ruptures.  The cells burst open and die.  Then the blood takes the dead bacteria and virus to the liver to be eliminated from the body.  Your body is much happier and it’s a good deal for everyone - except the bacteria and viruses!

My treatment consisted of the following:


Step 1:  MRSA is Internal.


Ultimate Monolaurin contains the full range of coconut oil's legendary monoglycerides of: monolaurin, monocaprin, monomyristin and monocaprylin.  These are clinically proven to kill the MRSA bacteria directly and fight internal body infection.

Step 2:  MRSA is External.


Ultimate Skin Defense has monolaurin, colloidal silver, coconut phospholipids and essential oils– all of which have also been proven to kill MRSA.  This will fight any external skin infection.



Step 3:  MRSA is Environmental.


Hospital infections, personal contact and room infection contact can put you, loved ones and others at risk.  For your environment, we have three products that all have the same monolaurin, colloidal silver, phospholipids and essential oils - just in different proportions as appropriate.  

     The Ultimate Anti-Bacterial Foaming Soap (without alcohol),


     The Ultimate Room Defense, therapeutic grade essential oil blend for killing bacteria in rooms. 



As soon as I started the treatment, I saw results within a week.  My staph that was reoccurring for nearly every few weeks was absent.  I cannot tell you the joy and relief we all felt.  I felt stronger, healthier, and my immune system was keeping up very well with the stress of work and applying for grad school.  I was very please with the results.

2013


In June of 2013, right before we left for Omaha, I cut my foot pretty bad on a doorstopper.  A foot is such a tricky place to have such a wound, especially with my history of staph.  I was careful to keep it clean and clear of bacteria.  With as potent of a bacteria that staph is, I saw experienced an outbreak on my foot around the wound.

Initial Cut.
You can see the bumps and swelling that formed as a result of the reactivation of staph in the wound.

I was so disheartened because I had been so positive about the result from the monolaurin, especially when the infection appeared on my face once again.  I called Inspired Nutrition and, as always, I was able to talk with a guy name Greg.  He is one of the friendliest, most helpful people I have ever come in communication with.  I explained my situation and how I was so worried that my body had, once again, become immune to another treatment.  To my surprise, Greg had a solution!!  The solution: Bio-Fibrin.

Bio-Fibrin

The Ultimate Bio-Fibrin is a tremendous aid to help dissolve the protective shields that bacteria and some virus build around themselves.  In recent studies, researchers are finding out how chronic diseases are often chronic because the bacteria or virus causing it is able to defend itself by building biofilm shields.  Then antibiotics, the immune system and vaccines can’t get to them.  They are protected.

Biofilms are often colonies of many types of bacteria working together and can become quite a complicated structure.  Even worse, if these microorganisms were exposed to an antibiotic or vaccine before building a biofilm, it can mutate (like Lyme disease) while behind the biofilm.  Then, if Lyme expands out past the biofilm and is exposed again, the drug used is no longer effective!  A new one has to be used.  We’ve worked with people that have gone through repeated cycles of this for 20 years or more!

Bio-Fibrin Makes Monolaurin More Effective

Monolaurin is able to kill all pathogen bacteria and 14 virus (including the ones above).  However, it must come into contact with them to do so.  With the active, exposed microorganisms, this is easy for our Monolaurin. 
It also appears that monolaurin is able to slowly penetrate biofilms.  However, it is slowed from its goal of coming into contact with the microorganisms – and it may not be able to penetrate cysts at all.

Bio-Fibrin can help remove the biofilm shields so Monolaurin can get to the microorganisms quicker and better.  It can also do a more thorough job because it can then kill the microorganisms inside the cysts.  Thus, the combination of Monolaurin and Bio-Fibrin to dissolve the biofilms makes them a very effective team!


Immediately took Greg's advice and ordered the Bio-Fibrin.  I am now nearly eight months "clean" of staph.  I firmly believe in Inspired Nutrition and its products.  If it wasn't for them, I truly do not know where I would be.  

Don't Give Up

Please, if you or someone you love has been affected by staph infection, please consider Inspired Nutrition's treatment.  Please note that they have other products that help treat diseases such as Lyme's disease, HIV, hepatitis, etc.  I am so very grateful for my mother-in-law and the inspiration that led her to finding one little comment on some discussion post in the whole WWW.  

Whatever you may be afflicted with, whether it is staph or some other type of illness, please don't give up hope.  I certainly did and I am grateful for others who were constantly searching for an answer.  Understand that there are treatments outside of the standard medical practices that do make a difference.  Monoloaurin is not covered by any prescription coverage plan, but it was able to kill a chronic infection that even the strongest man-made antibiotic couldn't.  Even if one of the "most qualified" (by modern medical standards) doctors tells you that you will forever live with an affliction, don't accept it.  Keep researching and experimenting.  Keep your mind open and keep the faith.  You will be amazed by what you find.

I know there will most likely be some criticism in the heading of this post, but until you walk through someone else's shoes, you will never fully understand why they do what they do or why they believe what they believe.

I really hope this post will help someone else that has been affected by staph.  Please spread the word, I know there are others out there who are waiting to find an answer and I pray this is what they need.

As stated in 2 Kings 20:5

"I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee"





Other tips for staph:
  • Eat Healthy!
                    http://www.livestrong.com/article/265163-how-to-eat-to-fight-staph-infections/
  • When you take on the 3-Step Treatment, STAY CONSISTENT!!
  • Implement stress management strategies into your daily routine.  Stress has a profound impact on health.
  • Wash your hands.
  • Clean and protect cuts.

To find out more, here is the link to Inspired Nutrition's website.