A Woman Worth Following

I have been fortunate to grow up with and be surrounded by some pretty amazing women in my lifetime and I often ponder what it is that makes a strong, leading woman.  This was an article posted on The Daily Positive.  I absolutely love it.

4 Signs of a Woman Worth Following:

• She Wisely Wears Her Rubies: By this I mean her immense wisdom. Wisdom being worth far more than rubies. I love how Proverbs describes a woman of wisdom as: “A rich desire for knowledge and a love for humanity”. Wisdom has a voice and it’s feminine! A woman worth following doesn’t stand in silence. She listens to the voice of courage and change and it guides her in making choices that display discretion, patience, and understanding. 

• She Lives Beyond Herself: She’s filled with compassion for the least, the last, and the lost. You know, those who few like, no one sees, no one hears. A woman worth following always thinks beyond herself. She’s not a narcissist.  No, a woman worth following is mindful of those who are suffering in the world around her. Empathy fills her and causes her to act. She spreads joy, love, and laughter wherever she goes. Ultimately, people feel safe to be seen by her. 

• She’s Got Guts: She’s not opposed to risk. In fact, I would say that most women worth following are willing to take risks. I’m not talking about risks of immaturity, like driving home drunk. I’m talking about wise risk like self-publishing that manuscript you’ve worked on for 5 years, or taking that trip to Central Africa in order to encounter another culture that’s always fascinated you. A woman worth following has got the guts to risk. And not only that, she’s counted the cost. Calculated the leap. Whether it’s an investment of her time, money, energy, or relationships, she’s willing to pay the price, take the jump, and go for the glory. 

• She Is an Original Voice, Not an Echo: She doesn’t mimic others, she creates. She’s an original. She’s got something unique, different, and distinct about her. She marches to the beat of her own drum. To do this takes courage. Boldness. It’s not easy to put yourself “out there”, to present your voice, your ideas, your life itself for others to critique and examine. But a woman worth following does all of those things, time and time again, because she knows there’s a unique contribution that only she can make to the world.

Women: be bold, secure, independent, humble, and most of all

strive to be that woman worth following...

Walk the Talk

If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more do the same.  The past perpetuates itself through lack of the presence.  The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future.

-The Power of Now

Do what is right to rest well at night.

Amen.

Continue in Patience

I am not sure why, but I have always had a soft spot for Elder Uchtdorf.  Even before I joined the church, some of the most powerful messages I remember came from him.  So grateful for conference talks and inspired individuals.

"Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels."

"Patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."

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"There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed."

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"Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait.  Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer."

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"Looking back, I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain."

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"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness."

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"Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich."

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"Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls.  Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls.  Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most."

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"The work of patience boils down to this: keep the commandments; trust in God, our Heavenly Father; serve Him with meekness and Christlike love; exercise faith and hope in the Savior; and never give up. The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness."

Knowing Yourself is the Beginning of All Wisdom

Last week was the beginning of my third quarter of my masters of Global Energy Management program.  So far... I am loving it!  1- I love school (don't ask me why, but I do) and 2- this is a field I am genuinely interested in making a difference.  I am finding it a little bittersweet because nine weeks from now, I will be halfway done.  I have truly enjoyed my professors, classmates, and the material.

This quarter I am in two classes, one of which is titled Leadership and Decision-Making in the Global Energy Environment.  I have noticed that this will be a class unlike any other.  Instead of going straight for leadership and how to manage others, my professor has us take a step back and focus on getting to know ourselves first.  The concept is brilliant: you have to know yourself before you can lead those around you.

I'm not much of a bookworm- particularly fiction- and I never really had much time to read books outside of USU; however, over the last couple years, I have really enjoyed reading about history, leadership, and self-improvement.  I am currently reading How to Win Friends and Influence People.  The principles in it are very basic, but can add significant value to a person's personal and professional life- I highly recommend it!  I believe this course will add to the lessons I've learned from my personal literature.

My blog will be used as a platform to track my individual progress and insights as I move throughout the class and (hopefully) beyond.  These posts regarding my development are mainly for my own use, but for anyone who is interested, I encourage them find time to enhance their self-awareness as well.  If everyone truly understood their "True Self" and those around them, we would all be more effective communicators.  The more we know, the more potential we have to grow.

Queen without her Crown

I miss being young and having a skewed perception of the world.  The older I get, the more I realize it is full of liars, cheats, and hypocrites.  To say the world is perfect is naive, so focus on the positive and all that matters is who I choose to be.

The last couple years have been a struggle for me when it comes to my spirituality.  Since living in Utah, I have witnessed some things that have made it difficult for me to keep the faith.  Between my health and personal and professional experiences, a lot of what once was there has been lost.  It is not something that I could control as much as it is just taking the time to heal and find my way back to what I know is right.

If you don't know, I am a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I was baptized in May of 2008 and could not be happier about the missionaries and support group that surrounded me in Omaha.  I have endless amounts of respect for those who led by example and practiced what they preached.  Needless to say, I was not prepared for the culture shock when I arrived in Utah.  

Let me first start off by saying that nearly all of the members here are incredible.  I have made lifelong friendships that I will forever cherish, particularly my sweet roommates and other girls from USU.

Yes, there are members who are no longer practicing, which is completely normal in any religion.  However, it is the people who preach one day, yet do the opposite outside of church.  The amount of hypocrisy that I have seen has significantly impacted my spirituality and, sadly, has gotten the best of me.  I would much rather there be 1,000 inactives than 1 hypocrite.  This isn't to say that I am perfect, but man have I tried.  I like to think of myself as a person with a great deal of integrity.  Seldom do I not tell the truth, no matter how bad the consequences may be for me.  I am a God-fearing woman who knows when I make mistakes and I take accountability.  Unfortunately, I cannot say that for others I have come in contact with.

A long series of events occurred where I got to a point where I could not longer get on one knee anymore and I couldn't feel that warm feeling when I went to the temple.  The temple seemed tarnished by those who were committing serious sins, yet still receiving the many blessings that I had to work so hard to obtain.  The light I once saw became dim.  

I call 2013 my "healing" year, on both physical and spiritual levels.  Towards the end of the year, I reached a turning point when the truth started coming back to me.  Certain things were not happening the way I wanted so I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Through a combination of different experiences, I decided to take a trip back to the temple with Riley.  When I say I surprised him, I more just didn't tell him until an hour before so not to disappoint him if I backed out.  That temple trip sparked some familiar feelings in me that I missed for so long.

I also discovered Al Fox, the "tattooed Mormon" who is a convert and has told her story throughout the world.  Her testimony is extremely inspiring and her faith is incredible.  She is such an amazing example of strength despite the hurtful words she has received because of her appearance.  Whether you are a convert, a life-long member, or non-denominational, check out her blog.

The most important event was our call to teach the Temple Prep class.  I haven't had a calling since this last summer when I asked to be released from Young Women's.  I loved the girls and other teachers, but between work and school, I didn't feel like I could pay an adequate amount of attention and maintain that example to the young women.  Today was my first time with Riley teaching Temple Prep.  I am so anxious to be there every week as we come closer to one another by attending and speaking more of the temple.  The importance the temple has in our lives is far greater than any of those people who broken my spirit.

The title of my blog "Queen without a Crown" comes from a Matisyahu song lyric:

"You're looking for help from God you say he couldn't be found,

Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground,

Like a King without his Crown,

Yes, I wanna get down,

A King without his Crown,

Yes, you keep fallin' down."

It means "man without his God" and how a man without his God is spiritually never going to win.  I want to remind myself every day of the way I feel when I am not constantly striving to wear that "Crown".  I felt that for nineteen years of my life and I don't want to be without it any longer.

The last two years have taught me a great lesson (one which my friend told me often, but I just wouldn't listen at the time): don't let others' actions affect your happiness.  This is so true.  I was allowing others' hypocrisy create an obstacle to obtain my own blessings and personal revelation.  Just a couple weeks ago, there was a picture circulating the internet that made me laugh, but it is so true:

I am not an expert, nor do I consider myself to be very "wise", but I do have some advice for others:

• Be true to yourself and to your God.  
• Find your own individual happiness within your religion.  Whether you are Jewish, Muslim, or Christian, serve and be involved because it is your choice, not because you are trying to meet others' expectations.
• Remember that others' are constantly watching and learning from you.  Whether they are children, converts, or non-members, they are counting on you to lead the way.  Be the example that lifts the spirits of others.  When you fall, fall with dignity and own up to your mistakes.  
• Choose your words wisely.  You most likely don't know the battles others are fighting silently.  Conversely, when someone does not choose their words wisely, choose not to be offended.  If you are, practice forgiveness.  Accept others' in their weaknesses and understand that no one is perfect.
• Surround yourself with those who lift you higher and bring you happiness.
• Don't allow others' hypocrisy to corrupt your relationship with God.  Remember: the church is perfect, the people are not. 

I love this quote by Joseph B. Wirthlin:

"The Church is not a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, or have perfect thought, or have perfect feelings.  The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to provide encouragement, support, and service to each other as we press on in our journey to our heavenly Father."  

Most importantly, I must give much credit of my strength and the ability to get over this so-called "hump" to Riley.  He is my rock and his faithfulness inspires me to better myself every day.  During our times of trial, he knows just what to say, when to say it, and when to be silent.  I believe that Riley and I got to where we are today because we were following the Commandments, promptings from the Holy Ghost, and keeping in constant communication with our Heavenly Father.  I know that as we move forward, we will continue to see the blessings happen in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

Milestones

Last month, my mother hit one of the greatest milestones in her life.  Although it hasn't quite sunk in for me yet, Mom's 41 years at Woodmen of the World came to an end.  For those of who don't know, this a woman who started in the cafeteria and worked her way up- how cool is that?!  Words cannot describe how important my mom is to me.  I am so proud of her and the mother she has been to me these last 25 years.  I am grateful to have been home for the occasion- it was definitely bittersweet.

I am happy to know that she will have more time to herself; however, for those who know my mom, she is one of the most selfless, thoughtful people you will ever meet.  Whenever someone is in need, whether she knows you very well or not, she will be there with homemade chocolate chip cookies or a broom to clean your house.  She will always find something to do or someone to help, therefore, I anticipate much of her retirement being fulfilled the latter.

I am eternally grateful for the example she has set for me as a woman.  Despite her extremely kind heart, she has encountered difficult times in her life.  In the face of these challenges, she has always stayed strong, especially for her two daughters.  I remember the late nights at work like it was yesterday.  Since I was too stubborn to move to Omaha after the divorce and Laura was still in high school, mom continued to make the hour drive to and from work every day.  I want to say she did this for about 17 years.  Despite the long day, she would still make it home to cook dinner and she never missed a sporting event!  I tend to struggle with the notion that you must be a stay-at-home mom to raise your children to be upright.  Well, my mother is living proof that you can have a career and maintain a household all a once.  I think my sister and I turned out pretty dang good. ;)  I want children... some day; however, unless Riley becomes some sort of millionaire, I will continue to pursue my career goals as well.

Mom's retirement was a milestone for myself and Laura as well.  Us three curly-haired girls have been through a lot together and have only come out stronger because of it.  I always remember how independent we all were growing up.  There were issues we had to deal with and lessons to learn at a very young age.  We learned how to work hard and take care of ourselves.  I have noticed that Laura has taken on many amazing traits as both a mother and a businesswoman.  She is extremely successful in her current position and will continue to do so.  These two women are such great examples to me to be successful.  I hope that one day I can live up to at least half of what they are.  Gosh, I love them.

Mom has taught me some amazing life lessons that I have carried with me.  I remember a particular issue a few years ago that I was struggling with.  The problem was not solving itself and she recommended I take care.  I asked her why I always had to be the bigger person.  Her reply:

"Jenny, that's just who we are."

Being the modest woman she is, she will think I am cheesy for mentioning it.  However, those words held great power and I will never forget that conversation.  No matter how unfair something may seem or how wronged you may feel, always be the bigger person.  Mom has demonstrated that in her own life as well.

Mom is one incredible woman that I could not imagine living life without.  I am anxious for her to start this new chapter in her life.  She will be able to spend more time with her beloved grandchildren and focus on things she loves to do.  I am grateful for all those who have stuck by our side through the years.  There was such an amazing support system at her retirement party as she said her goodbyes.  You know your mother has made an impression when there was a line leading out the door and down the hallway.  It sure has been a good run for her and it has been rewarding to be apart of.

Thank you mom.


By the way, I had to post this from when she repelled 30 stories down the Woodmen tower to raise money for the Boy Scouts of America.  One more reason why she is the coolest.

Here's to another chance to get it right.

"A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are."

Over the last year, I have been extremely touched by some profound events happening in my life which has created a burning desire to record them.  This past year has been full of some amazing experiences with my sweet husband between traveling, enjoying the company of friends and family, and taking care of our energetic puppy.  

Riley is continuing his work at the bank and despite some discouraging moments, he is really enjoying some of the changes that have taken place.  It is incredible how things just tend to work out.  Not necessarily in the way we imagine, but we have learned to accept that everything happens for a reason.  We are forever grateful for the people he has the opportunity to work under and side-by-side as Riley continues to grow as a banker and a leader.  He is the hardest worker I know and I am grateful for his example.

There is nothing more important to me than education and I am grateful for my family's support as I started my masters program in 2013.  I had been seeking out the Global Energy Management program in Denver for almost two years, so to be accepted and have the opportunity to be among some extremely intelligent and accomplished individuals has been a rewarding experience.  The best feeling when you are sitting in your first day listening to the professor's overview of the course and just knowing this is where you need to be.  The energy industry is in a pivotal moment right now and I want to be a part of shaping its future.  My courses have pushed me to limits I never thought I was capable of and I look forward to the next year.  Most of all, I am so very grateful for the support that Riley provides while pursuing my goals.  

This isn't to say that 2013 didn't pose just as many challenges.  Over the last couple years, my faith as been tested to the extreme.  Slowly, we are learning to overcome certain challenges that have come our way, whether it be with work, school, family or friends.  I am so lucky to have married the man that I did.  He is my rock and my voice of reason, while also the supporter of my dreams.  Riley continues to amaze me with his optimism, even in the darkest of days.  Not to mention, the constant support from my sweet mother, sister, and in-laws.  In particular, my father-in-law.  With the absence of my father for the last three years, I have been so grateful for my relationship with Rick and his advice.

Unlike 2012, I was blessed to have the health that I did in 2013.  Many of my close family and friends understand the extreme difficulties I went through with my chronic staph infection.  Due to my fight with this infection, I can truly say I hit moments of my life that I would consider rock bottom.  They are moments that I pray I will never have to go back to ever again, nor would I ever wish it upon my worst of enemies.  I am grateful to have so many angels in my life who provided strength and encouragement, as well as never giving up on finding a cure.  I have my mother-in-law to thank for discovering the treatment that has broken what I would call "the curse."  I am currently preparing a post about my experience with my staph that I will post at a later date.  

There is so much more I could share, but overall, it has been a great year.  So many things are changing around us, but I know we are right where we need to be.  I am looking forward to continuing our journey into 2014.

Happy New Year!